Relapse Discussed Part 5 - “The Lie of Control: Why ‘Just One More Time’ Is a Setup for Relapse”

The Dangerous Myth That You Can Use Again—Without Consequences

You’ve seen it happen.

The person with five years clean who suddenly decides they can drink a glass of wine at their cousin’s wedding.

The ex-heroin addict who tells themselves they can “just take a few pills” to take the edge off after a surgery.

The chronic alcoholic who relapses because they think they’re different now.

They’ve done the work. They’ve changed. They’re not “that person” anymore.

Bullsh*t.

That’s the most seductive, twisted, and fatal lie in all of recovery:
“I can control it this time.”

The Setup: “I Got This”

This lie doesn’t show up screaming—it whispers. Quiet. Convincing. Logical.

• I’ve been sober long enough.

• I’m not going to go back to where I was.

• It’s just one night.

• I deserve this.

• I’ve changed.

And it feels true—because life is stable. Things are going well. The chaos is gone. So you start to forget just how bad it got.

You forget the withdrawals. The shame. The arrests. The nights you begged God to let you die.

And once the pain fades, the brain gets slick.

It rewrites history. It paints the past with rose-colored lies.
You weren’t that bad. You had some good times. Maybe you can handle it now.

The Truth: You Never Had Control

Here’s what addiction will never stop doing: lying to you.

Your brain—especially the addicted part of it—wants comfort. And it remembers exactly where to get it. It doesn’t care about your job, your kids, your 12-step chip, or your clean time. It cares about dopamine.

And when you give in—even once—it’s game over.

You might make it one day. Or one week. But for most people, that “one-time use” turns into a spiral.

One becomes two.
Two becomes every weekend.
Every weekend becomes daily.
And then it’s worse than before.

Real Stories, Real Damage

She had 8 years sober.
One glass of champagne at a family event led to a blackout binge that destroyed her marriage in 3 months.

He relapsed after 6 years clean.
Started with “just a few painkillers” after a minor surgery. Within 90 days, he overdosed in a gas station bathroom.

Another guy we knew?
20 years clean. Thought he could try mushrooms “for spiritual growth.” Three months later, he was smoking meth and lost his business.

This isn’t rare. This is common.
Because you don’t get to keep the lessons if you stop practicing them.

Why This Lie Works So Well

Let’s break it down:

• Addiction is a disease of forgetfulness.
  Once the physical pain is gone, you forget why you quit.

• Ego tells you you’re different now.
  Recovery isn’t immune to pride. And pride always goes before the fall.

• “Functioning” is mistaken for healing.
  Just because you’re not using doesn’t mean you’re emotionally sober.

• You confuse time with immunity.
  The disease doesn’t care if you’ve been sober 30 days or 30 years. If you pick up, it picks up exactly where it left off.

What to Do Instead

Here’s the hard truth: You need to stay scared of this thing.

Not terrified. But respectful. A healthy fear. Like a person who survived a shark attack and never swims alone again.

Some practical reminders:

• Tell on your thoughts. If you’re romanticizing using, tell someone. Sponsor, friend, therapist—don’t keep it in your head.

• Play the tape forward. Don’t just think about the first drink—picture the jail, the job loss, the hospital.

• Stay around people who remind you how bad it got. Humility is a shield.

• Keep doing the work. Meetings, therapy, journaling—whatever your path, stay on it.

• Never test yourself. You don’t need to “see if you’re stronger.” That’s not recovery—that’s a setup.

Final Word: You Don’t Get a Different Ending

You don’t get to flirt with your addiction and expect it to act different this time.

It’s the same toxic ex.
It talks smooth. Promises it’s changed. And then it beats the hell out of you the second you let your guard down.

If you’ve found peace, protect it. If you’ve built a new life, never trade it for one night of fake comfort.

Control is an illusion.
One is too many, and a thousand is never enough.
The only safe use is no use.