The Myth of 'Just One More Time': How Subtle Thinking Leads to Full-Blown Relapse

Relapse often begins long before the drink or drug. This post explores the dangerous lie of "just one more time" and how distorted thinking, emotional discomfort, and unhealed trauma silently pave the road back to addiction. Learn how to recognize and stop it early.

RELAPSE & RELAPSE PREVENTION

Timo

5/14/20253 min read

grayscale photo of woman doing silent hand sign

When the Brain Starts to Bargain

For many in recovery, relapse doesn’t come out of nowhere. It starts in the mind, sometimes weeks before the actual drink, pill, or hit. It starts with a quiet, seductive thought:

“Just one more time won’t hurt.”

This one sentence has led thousands back into full-blown addiction. It sounds innocent. Harmless even. But it’s one of the most dangerous thoughts a recovering addict or alcoholic can entertain.

This post breaks down why that thinking happens, how it slowly unravels sobriety, and what real prevention looks like—before it’s too late.

The Seed of Relapse: Emotional Discomfort

Before the relapse comes the emotional relapse—restlessness, irritability, boredom, loneliness, sadness, or unresolved grief. These feelings often go unaddressed, especially in early recovery. Many people try to push them away, pretending they're okay.

But here’s the truth: Addiction isn’t just about substances—it’s about pain.

And when that pain resurfaces and there’s no coping strategy in place, the mind searches for relief. For the addict, that “relief” is often the old, familiar solution: getting high or drunk.

The Dangerous Voice of Rationalization

The addict’s brain is cunning. Over time, it begins creating justifications:

“I’ve been doing great. I deserve a reward.”
“I’ll just use this once and then go back to recovery.”
“No one will even know.”
“It wasn’t that bad last time.”

These thoughts are not facts—they are distortions. But in a vulnerable moment, they can feel true. This is where the relapse truly begins—not at the drink or drug, but in the decision to believe a lie.

“Just One More Time” is a Setup

The idea of “just one more time” is a setup. Addiction is a progressive disease. It doesn’t reset after a period of abstinence—it picks up right where it left off, often worse.

Many people in recovery have relapsed under the illusion that they could control it this time. But that “one more” turns into weeks, months, or even years lost. Some never make it back.

“One more time” has buried countless addicts. It is never just one.

Identifying the Warning Signs

The earlier you catch relapse thinking, the more power you have to stop it. Here are early warning signs that relapse may be creeping in:

Isolating from sober supports
Romanticizing past drug/alcohol use
Avoiding meetings or therapy
Lying or withholding from loved ones
Obsessing over the idea of “feeling good again”
Making excuses for past behavior

These signs are not a guarantee of relapse—but they’re serious indicators that the mental and emotional foundation is slipping.

Common Emotional Triggers

There are certain emotional triggers that almost always surface before relapse:

Shame: “I’ll never be good enough, so why bother?”
Grief: “I lost everything—I deserve to numb this pain.”
Resentment: “They don’t understand me. I’m doing this on my own.”
Loneliness: “What’s the point if I’m doing this by myself?”
Guilt: “I’ve already messed up—I may as well go all the way.”

These are not signs of weakness. They’re signs that healing work still needs to happen—and that support is urgently needed.

What to Do Instead of Giving In

Here’s what a person in recovery can do when they feel the urge rising:

Tell someone immediately. The brain loses its power when thoughts are spoken aloud. Secrecy is relapse fuel.
Go to a meeting—even if you don’t feel like it. The resistance is often a sign you need it most.
Write it out. Journaling raw thoughts helps deflate the urge.
Call your sponsor or therapist. Don’t wait until you’ve already used.
Ask yourself the real question: “What pain am I trying to numb?”

Relapse prevention isn’t about being strong all the time. It’s about having a plan when you’re weak.

Family and Loved Ones: What You Can Watch For

Family members may notice a relapse forming before the addict does. Pay attention if your loved one starts:

Acting defensive or secretive
Avoiding accountability
Expressing nostalgia for their using days
Showing signs of depression or agitation
Pulling away from people and support systems

Don’t accuse or shame. Ask with compassion. Sometimes, a gentle question like “Are you okay?” can disrupt the whole spiral.

Relapse Is Not Failure—But It Is a Warning

If relapse does happen, it doesn’t mean all progress is lost. It means something was left unhealed or unaddressed. The goal is to return quickly, with honesty and new tools.

Many long-term recoveries include one or more relapses. But what separates those who stay down from those who get up again is the willingness to learn, grow, and re-engage.